Step 1

After screaming at myself in my car for the second time, I realized something for the first time in a long time. It is necessary that I be completely alone in this mind and body healing process. Others may adamantly disagree, like my family and friends, but they need to listen to the reason why. In the short moment I stopped screaming angrily at myself for being a sad person, I realized that I had realized this all on my own- without talking to loved ones or a therapist. I am sad, and I am absolutely furious about it. Because it turns strangers away with a frown, worries my loved ones, strains goals set for myself, and threatens my relationships. I believe that realizing what I am, where I stand on it, and what it does to everything around me is the first step to getting better. But the road ahead is long and twisted, sometimes dark but sometimes light, cold, but also warm. But most importantly, paths blocked by trees, but other paths hiding nearby.

"....The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

- Robert Frost