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And of course, here's the swing of the the cycle. I need to reevaluate. Things have never been so wrong in my finally right world. There's a war inside myself that I'm losing. My stomach twists and makes me ill. I carry a lead heart. I feel confined in an open space. And I found that the only way to ease the pain is temporary distance- home. The familiar aroma of this place fills my head like the cure I need and tames the beast. The familiar faces, the interactions and conversations, the "old times"- are the perfect ploy to distract a distressed mind. But as the day ends I grow so unbearably fearful of the truth I had momentarily forgot. So much so that it creeps back in, tainting the tainted. Lets go back to the beginning.