Remembering October (An Occasional Poem)

Burial of a grandfather, October 15th, 2004

We stood in rows and leaned
like flowers wilting from the cold-
noses dripping, tears freezing into
clear crystals that fused onto faces
the quakes in our frigid bodies
outmatched by the quakes in our
brick heavy hearts

Upon your lawn,
hundreds of bodies shrouded
in blacks and grays-
and the mass reminded me of
an impending darkness intent
on swallowing me whole
and recoil as I may, I was afraid

And in the distance, holy words that
I wanted no part of, because
there was nothing holy in hands that
are meant to protect, taking what is ours
because there was nothing holy
in I, too young to feel such anguish and
anger that could not be quelled

And as they lowered your
wooden bed, we wept for dirt walls
that beckoned you home
the last parting gift we could give was
the sand we dropped into your grave,
where you would rest your head-
for eternity.