Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Untitled

I honestly believe that I may be the only person in the world with the capability of deeply caring about other people. I observe others with distaste and notice how selfish they are. How blind. The state of the human race truly is upsetting. I sacrifice everything for people I love, so much so, that I have even become selfish to myself. Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much and I wish that I could be even more selfish, so that I can be happy like the rest of the world.

I suppose that this could all tie into my loneliness. For the majority of my life, I was in the darkest and scariest, loneliest place. Now that I've found at least one person, I cling when he leaves me. I don't want to go back. It's not fair to him, I realize. I can't help myself, as much as a horrid excuse that is. Somewhere in my head thinks that if I do anything I can for people, maybe they won't leave me. Maybe I won't be alone. My mind has been permanently scarred, I believe, and when I try to explain the confusing things I do I feel like an idiot.

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